It’s 21st Century and we live in a diet culture. Most people may have subscribed to some sort of diet and fitness regime at a point in their lives. While it would be way too simplistic to suggest that certain diet trends and beauty standards cause eating disorders, they undoubtedly weave into the cultural tapestry which contributes to poor body image and enables disordered behaviors around food. For most women, this is our headache, especially from when we hit our early 20s. For others, the fuss about weight loss and physical appearance starts as early as when puberty hits. With the influx of social media standards, numerous theories about body positivity and dieting, I reckon it has become rather difficult to keep up that positivity of accepting your body. I mean who doesn’t want to see or hear comments like “it’s giving body”, etc on their posts on social media or at events. I hear that some women get free vacation tickets because their bodies scream goals, so the pressure is getting worserrrr.

Now that we have established the grounds of how mentally draining body positivity can be, let us talk about eating disorders. A disclaimer: this blog is simply my experience and research I have gathered during my journey of battling an eating disorder. This is not to invalidate others’ experiences or factual findings. I am not a psychologist, doctor, or therapist. However, I am survivor of Anorexia, and my experiences count as valid for this purpose.
Anorexia Nervosa is an eating disorder that can result in severe weight loss. A person with anorexia is preoccupied with calorie intake and weight. I would spend hours grocery shopping because I would read the calorie nutritional content of every single item I purchased. I still spend hours shopping to be honest lmao but that is just because I need to be sure items, I purchase, are 100% plant based. I almost died in this Accra trying to do random eating, but God said it wasn’t my time to die so somebody shout Hallelujah!!

I was about 19 (third year in Uni) years when I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa. I cannot quite remember exactly when it all started, but I remember I was so obsessed with looking a “certain way”. Everyone associated me with some super model. Look, I loved Tyra Banks and I would watch ANTM growing up like my life depended on it. I guess it psychologically affected how I understood what being beautiful and healthy meant. I was obsessed with being skinny. Interestingly, I have always been skinny, but for some reasons, I never liked how I looked. It was either I wasn’t “Coca-Cola enough or I was just fat” – the irony! I would always check my weight on a scale, be mindful of what I ate or not eat at all (which later landed me serious health complications) and I exercised excessively. Honestly, “this body dey tire no be now”. Oh, and monthly flow where? I was free from all that wahala because “no wahalaarrr, that’s the theme of my life” …at least, what I thought.
It was up until I lost it all, I had no energy left in me again. I looked very fragile and bony. If I took my clothes off, you would be scared for my life. If it were Halloween, I would have no competitor because I wouldn’t even have to get dressed……that is how I “saw” myself.

The symptoms of Anorexia have already been included in my mini story but for educational purposes, here are the major symptoms:

• Fatigue
• Insomnia
• Low blood pressure
• Irregular periods (more than 3 cycles without a period)
• Inability to maintain a normal and healthy weight
• Dry skin
• Depressed mood
• Hunger denial
• Use of laxatives and diet pills

The recovery process was tough. But through the process, I discovered myself. I changed my thought processes, emotions, self-image, boundaries, beliefs etc. I did not appreciate the journey of recovery and healing until recently. Looking back, I can describe my recovery journey as a beautiful one. From setting reminders to eat, keeping a food diary, frequent stays in the hospital, taking pills and injections, passing out randomly, inability to do the things that I love and shying away from emotions and relationships; I can describe the journey as one that has been transformational! I am still on a healing journey, but I always say this to myself…

“Healing is happening all the time, in layers and levels. I let love in and I am grateful for where my journey brings me”

Here are some of the behavioral changes I adopted

• I understood I was not to train for the Olympics everyday (I exercised but not excessively)
• I adopted an eating lifestyle that best suited my worldview and health (Plant-based diet)
• I understood the need to not be perfect. In fact, I enjoy my imperfect days
• I quit associating my self-worth to my physical body. (Don’t get me wrong, I am still fine asf)
• I understood that being healthy does not equate skinny. I know a lot of size smalls that are not healthy. Not to say it’s a flex to be obese, in fact, you need to work on that.
• I did yoga. You are probably tired of hearing me associate everything to yoga but to be fair, it has been my number one cognitive therapy. I am in fact, putting you on some GOOD STUFF! Just see yoga beyond flexibility and sex and don’t forget to send me my flowers when your mental health starts doing magic like Arsenal in recent times.

Research conducted on the correlation between yoga and eating disorder revealed that those who practiced yoga had higher levels of body satisfaction and better well being. Yoga encourages self-acceptance and peace. Rather than focusing on external appearance, yoga helps you experience your body internally, mindfully, and non-judgmentally which points its efficacy in helping one reduce stress and manage anxiety. Additionally, yoga involves breathing, relaxation and mindfulness which are all empirically proven strategies for the treatment of anxiety, a common component of eating disorders.

I endeavour not to make my blog posts long, because I want you to return lol. But I want to say that if you have noticed any of these symptoms with yourself, your friend, daughter, girlfriend, then please seek help. If you are currently in this phase, or a survivor, I send you jumbo hugs and all the love. You are a beam of light, and you will shine through it all. You are not alone. Book a yoga session here

There may be other elements I may not have touched here but do feel free to connect with me if you want to learn more or need to talk to someone in confidentiality.

I want to end by saying there is nothing wrong with wanting to look a certain way and working towards that. I have body goals too and I would want to wake up looking like Kelly Brook or like a VS super model but welp. There is only a problem when this affects your normalcy and your out-look on life and self-worth. There are serious health complications with eating disorders and there are high mortality rates associated with Anorexia. Thankfully, we are alive to declare the goodness of the Lord!

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